Thursday, June 7, 2007
it's [nianz] again
hi everyone!
been so long since i last posted an entry. emerge has just ended, but a new phase of life has just begun! i'm really inspired by what pastor kong has shared, but more than that, God did show up. It was really phenomenal. i went only for a few services, but learnt quite a lot. these are things that are deepl etched into my soul:
#1. Shamgar - the power of one and how he prayed, was audacious, was willing to obey, etc...
Finally i realise one man can make a difference, and the 5 attributes of SHAMGAR can change the whole nation...
#2. Jesus: DO YOU LOVE ME? DO YOU LOVE ME? DO YOU LOVE ME?
It was really revelational to me. I felt like i was Simon Peter, every time God asks me, "Do you love Me?" i'll always say "OF COURSE!" never once did it occur to me that i don't, nor have i doubted my reply ever. But like Simon Peter, so many times God asked me to do something, I'll say yes, then forgot about it or procrastinate till i forgot. God reminded me of all these times, and i felt so bad, so bad. that was the point of breaking. Jesus loved me to the point He died for me, yet my love to Him was perhaps just phileo instead of agape. At that point, i really didn't know how to answer Jesus if i really loved Him. I could only be like Simon Peter and say "God, i don't know, but i'll try my best." Now i'm hoping that God will still use me as much as He used Simon Peter, after all that i had done to disobey.
#3. Now the trumpet is in your hands, city harvest! If you sound it, you can bring peace and freedom(and much much more) to your land!
Truthfully speaking, i had tried evangelising to the point i'm scared of it. Fear of rejection. I had always set a standard in front of all my peers, and live out the best i can be. True enough, people do look up to me, but WHAT'S THE POINT if everyone knows i'm good yet doesn't know the goodness behind me? That sentence that pastor said about the cultural mandate all for the great commission really shocked me a lot. it slipped my mind about the cultural mandate. But thank God, i caught the fire back! I'm now ready to face the world with the cultural mandate, and carry the gospel wherever i go, because people are dying by the seconds, and pastor is working so hard to ensure he does his best to preach the gospel. I'll support him, and go all out to share the love of christ with my friends and family.
praise the lord! i shared half the gospel with my mum, about hell and heaven and how the other religion are not the route to heaven. i think she received something in the spirit. hopefully with some more opportunity from the Lord she'll be saved one day...
i'll be going back to JJC to "sound the trumpet" of christ. If Peter, Paul and Jesus died because of the gospel, i'm not alone. (fyi i may get expelled should i be found out talking about religion in school because my principal hates it) I'll be wise and hopefully carry the glory and presence of God back to my school. I guess after JC quite hard to reach out already huh? hmm... do pray for me that God will show me something...
a few things that i would like to pray for(and hopefully you will join me)
-hong xiu
-my family, cca (civil defence club) and class , that they'll be open to the gospel
-God to speak to me
That's all for now. Oh btw, thanks to everyone in e348 for being such a wonderful "sibling" in christ! haha... you guys really rock
-ZHINIAN
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