Friday, October 12, 2007
two things to share, whichever is more important...(from zhinian)
first thing. i missed cell group and service last week.reason: mum doesn't allow me to go when i ask her and tell her frankly
effect: i was super duper upset, and angry, and disappointed
cause for initiation: to walk in the light
God spoke to me since very l0ng ago, to want me to tell my mum the truth about me coming to church. it was hard, really. and i know she would never allow, thatt's why i didn't want to tell her. every time i had a breakthrough, it was only for a week, at most, a month. she is close to my heart, i really don't want to upset her. but i love God, much much more, that's why i choose church above my family, especially her feelings. yes, she is not what i look for in a mum. kinda sad, but what to do? God gave her to me(or the other way round). well, this time when i went for churchwide BS (victorious living), the preacher shared about walking in the light. and only by walking in the light can the holy spirit work, cuz you can find the spirit only in light. and we are to wear the GIRDLE OF TRUTH (truth=/ bible, but honesty). was very troubled and convicted in the spirit, so decided to believe in God for a miracle, a breakthrough, and that is to ask my mum for approval to come to church. friday, she said no. sat morning, she said no again. hey, i prayed. but it didn't happen. was devastated. called zoe. she encouraged me to persist on, and try another approach for a breakthrough instead. yes, this week i did. yesterday night. talked to her MATURELY (lol...so weird). it didn't happen. she got very emotional and told me, once and for all, if i'm gonna go to church, i won't have a mum anymore. she'll disown me. say christian sucks. very arrogant, no feelings, no compassion, look down on people, selfish, vicious, scheming. very bias right? humans don't like to find themselves exasperated. too bad this time i'm one of them.
decision: i'll stick to my policy. i've already been very very truthful, very calm, very democratic(or whatever), but she remains to be subjective and biased. so this period of time will be hard for me.
what u can do: lol, please pray for me that she'll be open (and by the grace of God she would realise that what she thinks is not true and she'll accept the fact that i go to church)
second thing. much happier stuff. and believe it or not, i told her this before i talked to her. and she doesn't care. zhinian knows nothing and thinks she knows everything. well, too bad.
promos results are back!! average math results in whole level: 30+. more than 75% failed, inclusive of me. lol...
i got 40! and passing mark is shifted to 35. and highest in my class got 48. lkol. i'm fourth in class. praise the lord! overall pass. maybe can get C even. haha =)
i would never do the tys again. cheated me. lol syllabus changed. i'm taking the graphic calculator syllabus. and it's tough. sigh. i finished half the tys u know? yet failed. lol... will try harder.
next best. biology. by the grace of God... 75/100. and there are, of course, many who failed. 75 is a grade i've never seen since j1. and i got it! think i'm second in class. but anyway, thank God for this!
and so, i passed. won't get retained. more than that, i'm offered H3 biology (proteomics and DNA). thinking of taking it up. still considering. but it was a nice surprise la...hehe
LAST BUT NOT LEAST....
chemistry...
i didn't study.
orh hor... sure die la... haha... you know what? quite a lot failed. last question super hard. haha... but, i managed to get 70% overall. and that means... i TOPPED THE CLASS! hallelujah!
thanks to all qho prayed(ahha...pls repent if u haven't) for my exams! finally over, and i passed! GP second in class (56.5%), geog failed (41%), chem pass, bio pass, math "pass". yay!! and overall, i think i did more than i could imagine. and this is God.
promos was hard. 5 out of 20 people in class may retain. failed all three H2. sigh. and one of them is my student. apparently an accident happened to her sis just the day before promos, and she flunk everything cuz she was very tired, stressed, distracted and worried. now i hope a miracle can happen, and she will find out God is real...average in class pass one H1 subject.
sorry ar, if this seem too juvenile. i'm in J1.and this is j1 life. lol. just sharing a little more while i can. hope to inspire everyone who's still studying.
my previous cell group leader asked me how did i manage to perform. well, it was really doing his will, trusting him for results, and holding on to his word. those having exams, don't be discouraged! the best thing is having God with u, cuz with him around, nothing will go wrong.
to all the uni students, do study hard yes? =) i believe God will move when u move. hehe.
another thing. reaching out. managed to share the gospel slowly. but it's really so slow. zzz... i know this is GOd's plan for me. but how can i make the gospel available before this year ends? and how can i be more effective besides studying well and meeting their needs and chillin out with them and blessing them and fellowshipping and sharing their burden and empowering them and encouraging them. funny right? do so much but can't find the opportinuty to share the gosel? so please help out by praying. i believe e348 will do big things for God.
thanks for hearing me crap/share/write. take care yea? i really hope to see u guys soon, and get to know all of u better, not just what you're doing, but spiritual walk, testimonies, vision, dream, and yes, shop if time permits!
zoe is a great leader. she is sensitive to the spirit and encouraging, and very wise. hehe. thanks zoe, for standing by me.
e348 rocks!
-guess who?-
it's from nianz_
i posted this at 3:47 PM
and i have received 1 comments.
Hello Zhi Nian, your life is in no way juvenile and whatever u said is in no way crapping. I'm sure that everyone else in E348 reading this would agree. I've learnt a lot from this entry and I now know how better to keep u in prayers.
Let's say what we want to say about our God-given life in confidence, without having to be apologetic about anything. =)
Thanks for being such a diligent student and for having such a big heart to love the people around you. You are a wonderful testimony.
Love,Wendy
